Election 97

Animal crackers

Our contest is now officially closed, and the winner will shortly be announced. However, although you can't enter, you can still play our zoological soundbytes

Since parliamentary proceedings were first broadcast in 1978, it has often, perhaps unkindly, been likened to an animal house - the worst moments of disorder always get the most publicity. Although this competition featured famous parliamentary speakers in more civilised circumstances, it seems that they cannot resist likening their opponents and colleagues to animals - farmyard and other. Just click on the links to hear the soundbytes - if you have Netscape with LiveAudio and a sound card, they will play automatically. Otherwise you will have to download them to your hard disk and play them using the sound program of your choice.


Which Labour minister is likening Conservative Geoffrey Howe to a dead sheep? Is it...

Roy Jenkins
Dennis Healey
James Callaghan
David Owen


Which Tory president of the Board of Trade is alleging that Labour leader John Smith's lunches with City financiers are having a genocidal effect on certain crustacea? Is it...

Nigel Lawson
Michael Howard
Norman Tebbit
Michael Heseltine


Who is suggesting that the minor parties, in siding with the Conservatives, are like 'Turkeys voting for an early Christmas'? Is it...

Ian Paisley
James Callaghan
Dennis Healey
Alex Salmond

Tiger among the rubber chickens

'The interventionist tiger of the rubber chicken circuit' Which Labour frontbencher had the temerity to refer to Michael Heseltine in this way? Was it...

John Smith
John Prescott
Gordon Brown
Tony Blair


Which notable Labour backbencher is calling the administration of funds destined for the fledgling SDP-Liberal alliance a 'dog's dinner'? Is it...

Glenda Jackson
Dennis Skinner
Tony Banks
Ken Livingstone


Easy - this is Dennis Healey referring to Margaret Thatcher. But... who was the backbencher on her own side who referred to her in the press as the 'great she-elephant, she who must be obeyed'?

Sir Rhodes Boyson
Sir Edward Heath
Julian Critchley
Tony Blair